I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
