i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
