I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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