But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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