i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize