Will you blow on my dice?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
