Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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