Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
