I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
