so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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