his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
