The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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