i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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