I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
false alarm, still single
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
