he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize