stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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