By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
