hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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