he puts the penis in happiness.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
