why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize