clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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