what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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