I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
