dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
