Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
