Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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