I love black thongs
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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