i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
