What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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