I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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