This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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