yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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