His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize