marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
