it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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