you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
