My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
