I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
