Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
