i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
