Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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