I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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