you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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