I wish life had little blips of pornography
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just had sex on a roof
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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