Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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