Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
