I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
