Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
