Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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