Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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