Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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