I can tuck mytits in my pants
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
