he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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