i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
