That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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