that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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