I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
