if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
